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My Immortal - Song Fic

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My Immortal - Song Fic

Post by WolfieStar on 15th May 2010, 4:41 am

My Immortal

“I can’t believe it, I was so stupid.” I said softly, sitting in the waiting room of Chinatown Hospital. My hands cradling my head as I looked down at my feet, then felt someone rub my back. I tensed a bit, then looked up a bit and saw Tobey rubbing my back, looking down sadly at me.

“She’s gonna be fine Sid, she has to be . . .” he whispered, looking lost and melancholy in his eyes. I sighed, then squeezed his hand to reassure him.

“This is Sue we’re talking about, right? She always pulls through.” I tried to tell him, but it was mostly reassurance for myself. Sue had to pull through. She had to.

“All because of that stupid fire . . .” Tobey looked down at the floor, an angry expression on his face. “If Wu’s hadn’t gone up in flames because of damned Barney, maybe we wouldn’t be in this predicament . . .”

I opened my mouth to disagree with him, but no words came out. Slowly, what had happened last night came back at me like a wave.

Wu’s had been engulfed by flames. The smoke detector wasn’t working for some reason and it was thanks to Sue we all got out in time. She wasn’t sleeping well and smelt the smoke. She got everyone out in time, but I got trapped by the flames. Sue saw and tried to rescue me. She was able to get me away from the flames, but the fire was already destroying the whole restaurant. She couldn’t get out in time . . . The beam from the ceiling broke and fell on her . . . She was knocked unconscious and didn’t come out, more and more rubble falling on top of her . . .

“Sid . . .” Nana shook me gently. I jumped and looked at her.

“Sue . . .?” I whispered, still in my dream. She immediately sighed, tears starting to roll down her cheeks. “Nana! Where is Sue?!”

“Sue, she’s not good . . . Her back is broken from that beam that fell on her, some ribs cracked, and one of her lungs collapsed from the impact of the beam and smoke inhalation.” Nana explained somberly.

“But she’ll make it, right?!” I begged, my whole body shaking. “She’s gonna be fine, right?!”

Nana slowly shook her head. “No Sid, I’m sorry. Her injuries are too severe, she’s dying.”

Time seemed to stop as she said, ‘dying’. I refused to believe it. Sue wasn’t dying, she gonna be fine. She’s gonna be fine. She’s at home, she’s reading her book, ready for deliveries. She wasn’t dying. She wasn’t dying. She. Wasn’t. Dying.

“Sid, do you want to say your last goodbyes?” Nana whispered gently. Tobey was besides her. He was crying tears of sadness, I imagined he was shocked and upset like me.

Silently, I nodded, my eyes getting wet. I slowly stood up, and Nana took my hand and led me to the hospital room. She opened the door, and said to me,

“I want you to go alone. She needs you, she was crying out your name the whole time. I think you two should have your last time alone.” Nana gave me a tight hug, then opened the door. But I tensed up and froze. Nervousness and fear struck me hard. How bad is she? Is she in poain or discomfort? She’s dying, of course she’s uncomfortable. Gathering my courage, I walked inside slowly to say my last goodbyes to my only family.

Sue was so white and pale, it scared me. She looked too exhausted to be in pain or discomfort. Her wheezing was so loud, I knew she was having trouble breathing. Quietly so not to startle her, I walked by her bedside, then knelt down next to her beside so I could look at her at eye level. At first she looked to be asleep, but once I touched her hand to hold, she squeezed it weakly.

“Sue?” I whispered. “Are you awake?”

“Of course Bro.” Sue smiled weakly, then opened her eyes. It hurt me inside when I saw pain and defeat clouding her eyes. She then sighed, and her eyes started to look very wet like she was about to cry. “Sid, I’m dy-”

“Don’t say it!” I said quickly, starting to panic a bit knowing she knew that she was going to pass away soon. Giving her hand a reassuring squeeze, I tried to comfort her, “that’s not going to happen. You’re going to be fine, I’m sure of it. And when you get out of here, you and I are going to do something special.” as I spoke to her, I stroked her hair lovingly, which looked unnaturally dull and didn’t have it’s usual gorgeous shine.

“But Sid . . .” Sue said slowly, her eyes shutting for a second. She breathed deeply and reopened them. It hurt me inside again when I realized how exhausted she was, and how close she was to leaving me. “My back is broken and nearly all my ribs, I can barely breathe. I won’t be able to walk again. I’m crippled, useless . . .”

“No Sue, don’t say that! Never say that!” I looked at her in her bloodshot eyes, strained and damaged from the smoke and glare of the fire. “Can a cripple save her brother from dying in a blazing fire? Can a cripple risk her life to save her brother, knowing she would be put in mortal danger? You are anything but a cripple. So you‘re paralyzed? Just because you need a little help, that doesn‘t mean you’re a cripple. You have the heart of a hero, and never forget it.”

Sue smiled, tears rolling down her cheeks. She started to say something, but had to endure a violent coughing fit. In between her coughing she was whining with pain, and she even coughed up some blood. It was the worst pain inside that I couldn’t do anything to relieve her pain.

Trying to do anything to help her, I slowly pulled the sheets away then crawled in the bed with her. Sue, who was still coughing, looked at me weakly. When she started to calm down, I slowly wrapped my arms around her body, and pulled her close. It was amazing that she didn’t feel any pain, but then a scary thought entered my mind - Sue is gonna die any minute.

For a few minutes, we just held each other, enjoying each other’s company and warmth. Sue was shaking, knowing what was gonna happen soon, and she was scared. She didn’t want to die. Not yet. I knew that she wanted to get married, have children, even grandchildren. She couldn’t achieve any of that at only fourteen years old.

“Sid are you proud of me?” Sue asked all of a sudden. I looked down at her, a bit stunned at the question, and noticed that her shaking had stopped. She was too tired and weak to shake anymore.

“Why do you ask Mei Mei?” I asked her, my face buried in her hair that still smelt burnt and of smoke.

“You never say ‘I’m so proud of you Sue’ or ‘Good job Sue’ or ‘I love you Sue’ or tell me anything anymore . . . That’s why I try so hard to make you proud . . . Am I failing?” Sue whispered. She was barely audible, and I had to strain to listen to her. When I heard what she said, I realized half of it was true. I had been ignoring her, and no wonder she was so serious all the time. She just wanted me to be proud of her, and I hadn‘t been telling her that. Not even a simple, “I love you”, I really was pushing her away.

“Sue, I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” I whispered to her, tears falling in her charred hair. “I love you so much Sue I cant describe it to you. You’re all I have left, and I’m so proud of you. We couldn’t have gotten back all those recipes without you. I’m so sorry I haven’t said this to you. You keep us all together, and make sure we don’t get hurt when we deal with Kong Li. All of us would have died by now without you.”

Sue was crying now. “S-Sid . . . Thank you . . . I needed to hear that . . . I only wanted to make you and others proud of me . . .”

“We are . . .” I told her. “More proud than you can imagine.”

“I didn’t want people to think of me as only Sid Yi’s little sister. I wanted people to think of me more than that . . .” Sue’s voice failed, and she started to relax and fall limp. Immediately I knew what was happening when she said, “I can’t stay awake, the angels are here to take me . . .”

“No Sue! Just a little longer! Please stay awake Mei Mei! I need you!” I begged her, tears streaming down my cheeks and clutching her tightly to my chest.

“I’m so sorry Sid . . .” Sue looked at me, her voice barely heard. “I love you Sid, thank you for everything. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you . . .”

“Sue . . .” I whispered, shaking with my own grief. Then I took a deep breath, remembering a quote. “If you love something, you have to let it go . . .” I said softly.

“Goodbye Sid . . .” Sue whispered, then her eyes shut tight. Her heartbeat slowed, and her respirations stopped. She seemed to get a bit heavier in my arms, the lifeless sister I was hugging.

“Goodbye Sue . . .” I said softly, tears falling down my cheeks. “I needed you two, I couldn’t have lived without you . . .” clutching her tightly one more time, just taking her in.

My sister was dead.



Songfic to the song My Immortal by Evanescence. I love this song, may write a different one soon.

I tried to make this as emotional as i could. Even i teared up a bit writing this.

This idea came into my head while i was at school, and decided to make this a one-shot, mainly focusing on the deep sibling relationship between Sue and Sid.

Has anyone else noticed that Sid has never said, "Good going Sue" or "Nice job Sue" or "I love you"? that's also where i got the idea for this fic.

This was done pretty quick, mostly the middle and end is where i put effort. so sorry if it's a bit crappy.

Last edited by WolfieStar on 24th August 2010, 12:04 am; edited 1 time in total


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Re: My Immortal - Song Fic

Post by kayla_marie on 21st May 2010, 4:15 am

star it really good i cant say anything to change and you made me cry Sad which is weird cause im listening to music that puts me in a happy mood... Question

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Re: My Immortal - Song Fic

Post by DragonWarriorClaire34 on 21st June 2010, 5:04 pm

Wow. Just, wow. That was absolutely stunning. The emotions were so powerful. Amazing. This piece of yours really took my breath away, or knocked my cap off.
You had some spelling mistakes here and there, like when Sid says to Sue, "I needed you two" stuff like that.

But other than that, (ignore me, I'm a grammar stickler...) the style of writing was very refined! I really enjoyed reading this.... *sniff*

This sort of reminds me of the relationship between my brother on me. Like a Star @ heaven Also, I've wondered that....Sid never actually praised his sister in the series....hm...that explains why she's so serious.

Aw, this was so sweet. I'm getting emotional. *sobs* Sad Keep on shooting for the stars, Star! *shot for cheesy lines* I can't wait for what you write next! XD

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Re: My Immortal - Song Fic

Post by swim2live on 16th July 2010, 4:21 am

i know this is an old topic but i just have to post something. i cried this was so sad. i loved it Star. u are truely an amazing writer. i needed that.

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