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family (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

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Post by kayla_marie 29th June 2010, 12:11 am

Ok this is in honor of Zutara week (there topics everyday and you have to make it into a zuko and katara story) i really want your opinons on it.

Monday: Family

Family its a bond between people. Blood,even by law, makes you related to them. Makes you love them, care for them no matter the mistakes they've made, things they've done but even that bond can brake.

Zuko understood exactly how it felt for that bond to brake. It happened much in his life, his dad and sister, that bond broke when he was little. His mom, the bond didn't brake but she left a hole in him when she left. Uncle Iroh was the only family he had. Someone there,Someone who loved him unconditionaly, yet the hole was still there but uncle made it hurt less.

Katara was thinking of mom. How she died and she was to weak to save her, how she lost her life to save her but how could she do that how could she leave her,when she needed her the most. The days after her mom died where the hardest, she called for her mom at night hopeing she'd come, hopeing it was all a nightmare and she'd come to hug her, to tell her its ok. After awhile she accepted that her mom was gone, she cant come back. Not to see her waterbend,not to comfert her when she was down, not to watch her grow up. Nothing but it still hurt and she tried to act tough in front of people but when alone she cried.

Zuko noticed Katara across the fire and he smiled to him self.

'Katara' He thought. Shes the only one that really got him not exactly but close. She made him feel better when she was arround. She even got him to smile more. She was the first person to touch the scar, his scar even Mai didnt touch it in fact she tried to stay as far away as she could.

'Mai doesn't see me the way katara' He thought some more before turning his attention back to Katara.

He saw a tear slide down her cheek so he knelt down to wipe it. She picked up he head and started to say something but he covered her lips with his finger.

"Its ok...
kayla_marie
kayla_marie

Posts : 39
Join date : 2010-05-14
Age : 28
Location : danceing to my fav songs

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Post by kayla_marie 29th June 2010, 12:17 am

not everyone is tough all the time." She hugged him and cried in his shoulder while he rubbed little circles in her back and ushered comforting words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
idk but it wouldnt let me but this all in one post so please tell me whatcha think
kayla_marie
kayla_marie

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Post by Claire 29th June 2010, 1:27 am

Well, I like the idea of creating the "bond" between Katara and Zuko through their deceased mothers. Very interesting. I am a big fan of the Avatar: Last Airbender series, so this idea really piqued my interest. Very innovative?

May I be frank though? I don't mean to be mean, but there were multiple grammar/writing/spelling/capitalization mistakes. I don't say this just because I'm a grammar Nazi or something, it is because it really confused me while reading this story. Those mistakes could keep you from seeing the true potential that lies within this extremely fascinating idea you came up with.

Mispellings like "brake" when it should be "break" were especially bad. The meaning of the sentence was a bit thrown off for me, because I believe that minor confusions like that can shield the true potential of the sentence. I was also confused with pronouns, because I didn't know who was speaking to whom in the end, stuff like that.

I really do like this story and can't wait for the others in your "Zutara Week", but polishing up your skills are definitely something to think about. I mean, we all get into mistakes, but polishing them up make for a better story, so if I offended you in any way, I apologize.

Even though I'm not really an advocate for Zutara (or any Avatar: Airbender Fanfiction in general *shivers*) I really can't wait for your next piece, because your ideas are really creative! cat
Claire
Claire

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Post by kayla_marie 29th June 2010, 6:15 am

thanks clairebear i didnt know i was spelling 'brake' wrong im not on my computer im on my ds so i cant do grammer check or anything so im sorry and then i was watching something on drake so thats why it came out that way ill go back and fix it but thanks i really appreciate it!
kayla_marie
kayla_marie

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Post by Claire 29th June 2010, 3:35 pm

No problem! I can't wait for your next story of the week! cat

But wait....you can do stuff like that on the DS?! I never knew that!? But then again, I have the old 1st gen or 2nd gen DS. No that DSi or whatever its called. XD LOL lol!
Claire
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